First of all, let me start out by telling you that there is a new ninja jam available for download. Immediately following the completion of this jam, a guy named DJ Donkey made a remix of it.

And click here for the remix.

So recently, some shit went down. I went to seven-leven, mostly for old time’s sake. I had flashbacks of fateful milkchug runs where we encountered pirates posing as ninjas. I remembered the time We cleanly sliced off the head of one such fellow, and his head landed on the ground and watched his body shit it’s pants.

I find it weird that there remained fans even after I was away for a couple years. The fan club that they started actually evolved into some kind of seppuku cult. I crawled on the ceiling and stealthily watched a meeting they had, and some weird stuff happened… One of the guys started holding his stomach and had a weird look on his face. I then heard a noise similar to a saint bernard dog sneezing heavily, and a thick brown mass of liquid splatted onto the floor from his cult robes. He looked really embarrassed and he didn’t know what to do (who the hell would?), so he turned to run away immediately. As he turned, his left foot landed in the middle of his shit-puddle and he slipped. The way he fell looked really awkward, and his robe ended up above his waist. I guess these cult guys don’t wear underwear, because the first thing I noticed was his ball-sack drooping directly into the shit puddle. All the other cult guys looked mortified at the sight, as they should have been. There was some sort of heiarchy in the cult that I don’t understand, so since this guy was one of the leaders, he also had an underling that would try and suck up to him at any given chance. Seeing this as a moment to gain his superior’s favor, the underling lifted his robe, and squeezed out a shit of his own onto the floor. I guess he was trying to make his superior feel less embarrassed somehow. Now Diarrhea isn’t something you can just summon up on a whim, so the underling dropped a thick, sausage-link shit. To complete the mimicry, he then squatted down and nestled his nut sack on the top of his shit-link. At this point, I had seen enough and I flew out the nearest window. I’ve seen some shit in my life, but that had to be one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.

 - Tanshin