- Here I sit at work. Or “work”. I find myself stumbling upon thoughts like “oh this comic would be great for an update” or “I just had the greatest idea for an update on ninjagamer”. Unfortunately, so many options are completely disabled here at Teleperformance USA, that i am unable to do nothing more than type text for an update. Currently, I am sitting through an A+ certification class, where they teach lessons such as, “This is a mouse.” Yes, it is boring. Yes, it is 8 hours every day. We’re not allowed to do anything except listen and participate in the class. What I’m doing right now is not allowed. I am performing what is called “stealth typing” where you tap the keys as softly as you can, and minimize the window when the teacher walks by.

 You have to understand, this is the most tedious and boring thing I’ve ever sat through, and I’ve spents hours staring at my ceiling before. I have started an experiment, ironically brought about by reading through the terms and conditions of the company. Among these rules, it was discussed that alcoholic beverages were not allowed on the property, even in your car, sealed in the parking lot. Naturally, I decided to bring a water bottle full of vodka to work. I’m completely intoxicated at the moment. It looks like water. The only thing that may be suspicious is my breath, and the fact that I chase with an additonal water bottle. As a result, I find my classmates’ jokes much more funny and the time flying by much faster.

 I keep telling myself that I’ll do a really cool update when I get home to make up for this chunk of boring text that probably no one will read, but most likely I’ll start playing video games, or fall asleep. I guess we’ll see.

An imporant instructional video on how to walk in Japan.

– I love Resident Evil, and I love poking fun at it even more, which is exactly what I plan to do here. So let’s looks at the concept of RE real quick. 3 people escape into a house, and either way, the 4th person is missing somehow. After Chris or Jill (whoever you picked) comes back from fighting off a zombie who is eating kenneth star, Albert Wesker, the Umbrella employee mastermind in all of this decides to split up the group so he can go about his work while the others struggle to survive. First problem: They AGREED! Seriously. What the fuck. Let’s look at this at the angle of someone in the REAL situation.

“Hey man, I just killed a fucking ZOMBIE in this place.”

“Hmm….we should split up. I know we’re short supplies, but i’m willing to bet there is ammo and other weapons spread around the house, so we should be ok!”

“Ok, that is the dumbest shit I have ever heard, and you know what? You can go alone, i’m going with Barry Burton! Have you SEEN the size of his fucking gun?!”

Let’s look at it from another angle.

(more…)

Tommorow is Easter Sunday, and i’d like to send out a warning to all of the ninjas; Don’t be fooled by pirates in the disguise of an Easter bunny. I don’t expect that any of you could possibly be fooled by a disguise created by a feeble pirate, however the threat does exist, and to some of the newer ninjas, it could be potentially dangerous, however not as dangerous as Santa pirate. Look out for your fellow ninjas! Happy Easter everyone.
Grow a beard.
-Wiryu