"Hello out there all you mammalians, cowboys, robots, ninjas, and even pirates. No matter who or what you are, and no matter what else has been going on in the world, there has been one thing in forefront of everyone's thoughts. Where are the ninjas? Where did they go? What are they doing? Well, that is more than one thing. But I, Captain Jonathan Riker have taken it upon myself to uncover the deepest ninja mystery that we may ever see. MYSTERY: NINJA VANISH."

"Up until now, there have been absolutely no leads due to the natural nature of ninjas to stay hidden. But a few days ago, I spotted the following scene transpire on live television:"



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