- Here I sit at work. Or “work”. I find myself stumbling upon thoughts like “oh this comic would be great for an update” or “I just had the greatest idea for an update on ninjagamer”. Unfortunately, so many options are completely disabled here at Teleperformance USA, that i am unable to do nothing more than type text for an update. Currently, I am sitting through an A+ certification class, where they teach lessons such as, “This is a mouse.” Yes, it is boring. Yes, it is 8 hours every day. We’re not allowed to do anything except listen and participate in the class. What I’m doing right now is not allowed. I am performing what is called “stealth typing” where you tap the keys as softly as you can, and minimize the window when the teacher walks by.

 You have to understand, this is the most tedious and boring thing I’ve ever sat through, and I’ve spents hours staring at my ceiling before. I have started an experiment, ironically brought about by reading through the terms and conditions of the company. Among these rules, it was discussed that alcoholic beverages were not allowed on the property, even in your car, sealed in the parking lot. Naturally, I decided to bring a water bottle full of vodka to work. I’m completely intoxicated at the moment. It looks like water. The only thing that may be suspicious is my breath, and the fact that I chase with an additonal water bottle. As a result, I find my classmates’ jokes much more funny and the time flying by much faster.

 I keep telling myself that I’ll do a really cool update when I get home to make up for this chunk of boring text that probably no one will read, but most likely I’ll start playing video games, or fall asleep. I guess we’ll see.