It’s Time!

Posted in News by Tanshin on the March 19th, 2009

First of all, let me start out by telling you that there is a new ninja jam available for download. Immediately following the completion of this jam, a guy named DJ Donkey made a remix of it.

Finally, a new ninja jam!

And click here for the remix.

So recently, some shit went down. I went to seven-leven, mostly for old time’s sake. I had flashbacks of fateful milkchug runs where we encountered pirates posing as ninjas. I remembered the time We cleanly sliced off the head of one such fellow, and his head landed on the ground and watched his body shit it’s pants.

I find it weird that there remained fans even after I was away for a couple years. The fan club that they started actually evolved into some kind of seppuku cult. I crawled on the ceiling and stealthily watched a meeting they had, and some weird stuff happened… One of the guys started holding his stomach and had a weird look on his face. I then heard a noise similar to a saint bernard dog sneezing heavily, and a thick brown mass of liquid splatted onto the floor from his cult robes. He looked really embarrassed and he didn’t know what to do (who the hell would?), so he turned to run away immediately. As he turned, his left foot landed in the middle of his shit-puddle and he slipped. The way he fell looked really awkward, and his robe ended up above his waist. I guess these cult guys don’t wear underwear, because the first thing I noticed was his ball-sack drooping directly into the shit puddle. All the other cult guys looked mortified at the sight, as they should have been. There was some sort of heiarchy in the cult that I don’t understand, so since this guy was one of the leaders, he also had an underling that would try and suck up to him at any given chance. Seeing this as a moment to gain his superior’s favor, the underling lifted his robe, and squeezed out a shit of his own onto the floor. I guess he was trying to make his superior feel less embarrassed somehow. Now Diarrhea isn’t something you can just summon up on a whim, so the underling dropped a thick, sausage-link shit. To complete the mimicry, he then squatted down and nestled his nut sack on the top of his shit-link. At this point, I had seen enough and I flew out the nearest window. I’ve seen some shit in my life, but that had to be one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.

 - Tanshin

The same thing, only different.

Posted in News by Tanshin on the February 4th, 2009
Ninja school is awesome. AND sweet. Why exactly, you ask? Well I was just minding my own, ninja chillin’, walkin’ around and I decided I was hungry. I was like, “Damn, whats a ninja gotta do to get a sammich around here?” So I killed a few pirates and flew around the campus until I saw a sandwich store. I came in for a landing and stood in line to order. Naturally, any good ninja is going to check his surroundings at every occasion, just in case. I glanced around: up, down, right… and then LEFT. To the left, this is an actual photo of what I saw (man I’m such a good photographer):

Just your average hot ninjababe.

Just your average hot ninjababe, right? Wrong! Let’s take a closer look.

NIPPLES AHOY!

Nipples ahoy!!!
And this could happen EVERY DAY. Also, it has been rumored and confirmed that I, Tanshin am in fact working on some new Ninja Jams with some more advanced technology than previously. There should be some tracks out next month! And another thing: We are currently searching for the whereabouts of Commander Riker so we can give him his old position back in reporting for Ninja Mysteries. It appears that our first ninja mystery will be his whereabouts for now. More later!

FIND ME

Time Machines

Posted in News by Tanshin on the January 26th, 2009

Oh shit! Guess who’s back, bitches?! It’s the Tanshin. I noticed that the site has been up for almost 7 years now, which is amazing. All of you have probably been wondering where I’ve been all this time. It’s a long story, but I’m gonna spend the next the next billion updates telling you all about the epic tales of what I’ve been doing for the years on my journey. Ninja-wise, I think I’ve matured quite a bit. For instance, I learned how to sneeze and fart simutaneously. Try it, it’s hard to do on command. Here is a real life photo of me performing this difficult technique.

Very Difficult

The thing is, if you do it wrong, you’ll just shit your pants. Believe me, I know it from all the “trial and error”.

I should have practiced in private, I guess.

Anyway, if you time it just right, it summons robot Michael Jackson to come kill every enemy on your screen. There will be more to come, I promise! I’ll tell you all about my ninja adventures.

Kizzirby drops it

Posted in Video Games, Videos by Doraemon on the December 13th, 2008

She’s not racist, I swear!

Posted in Videos, Racism, England by Doraemon on the October 20th, 2008

I think she might be faking though, just so she can get away with it.

Typing of the Anime Theme Song

Posted in Video Games, Music, Crazy Japan by Doraemon on the September 7th, 2008

Typing... of the MOE!

Pretty amusing flash game, its like a mashup of typing of the dead and beatmania, but with anime music.

There’s a couple of english songs on there too.
http://somoe.org/typing/

Olympic Shilling

Posted in Videos, Olympics, Tacos by Doraemon on the August 30th, 2008

I’ll pop her taco…

Naba’s Life: The Musical

Posted in Videos by Doraemon on the August 22nd, 2008

Crash Man <3 Mega Man

Posted in Video Games, Videos by Doraemon on the August 9th, 2008

Hovercraft toy, DO WANT!

Posted in Videos by Doraemon on the August 8th, 2008

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